In Forgiveness Part 1, I began by saying what forgiveness is not. It is not permission for what happened. It is not forgetting the pain or giving the person who harmed you access to your life again.
Now I want to talk about the part that cannot be handled by words alone: your intention. What are you choosing for yourself when you say, “I forgive”?
For me, the answer is freedom.
The intention beneath the words
I can speak the words of release and still find myself returning to the same hurt in my mind. That is why I ask, What do I intend? Am I saying something because I think I am supposed to say it? Or am I ready to loosen the hold this experience has had on me?
Forgiveness is not a performance you owe anyone. It is a choice to stop letting another person's action define who you are or govern every step you take next. It is a way of getting back in the driver's seat of your own life.
And this distinction matters: you can seek accountability, protect yourself, and keep a firm boundary while doing that inner work. Choosing freedom does not erase what was done or excuse the person who chose to do it.
When another layer comes up
I have used a release practice and then, years later, noticed that something still came up in me. I returned to the work. Why? Because I choose freedom.
That return did not make the first attempt false. Sometimes we see another part of an experience only when we have enough distance to meet it. Sometimes we need more time, a different kind of support, or a season of rest. We do not need to turn the return of a feeling into proof that we have failed.
You may remember the letter practice I described in Part 1: speak your full truth to the person who harmed you without sending the letter, then use the act of burning it as a spiritual release if that practice is right for you. You do not have to contact that person. You do not have to reopen a door that needs to stay closed.
The action can be repeated if you choose. What matters to me is the intention behind it, not the appearance of having finished.
Meeting the younger you
THEO calls this practice Soul Integration™, and I want to give THEO full credit for it. In this recording I speak about bringing the younger version of yourself to mind and allowing that child to tell you what they felt. Then, as the adult you are now, let them know you are here. Let them know you will protect them.
For THEO's full guided practice, you can explore the Soul Integration™ Collection, which includes guided meditations.
This is not an invitation to search for what a child did wrong. A child who was abused did not cause the abuse, and being unable to leave was not a failure. The responsibility belongs to the person who chose to cause harm. The invitation is to meet any fear or shame that child may still be carrying with compassion, rather than leaving them alone with it.
You can try this quietly, in your own time, if it feels supportive. If it brings up more than you can safely hold on your own, reach for someone you trust or qualified support. Spiritual practice and practical care can stand together.
Your next step is yours
Maybe today you are ready for a letter. Maybe you are ready to sit with the younger you. Maybe the honest step is to keep a boundary, ask for help, or simply rest.
None of those steps asks you to call the harm good. None requires you to feel free on command. The person who harmed you remains accountable for their choice. Your choice now is about how you care for yourself and what you want to carry forward.
I choose freedom. If that speaks to you, begin where you actually are. Take what serves you, and let the rest wait.